Emotional Detachment – Free at Last

By The Spiritual Explorer | Published 30 March, 2016

Dear Spiritual Explorer: I need some help. I am too attached to my friends and family and am always looking to them for some kind of help. I want to know more about emotional detachment. Rhonda P., Baltimore, MD


Bhagawan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri

Dear Rhonda: I have always believed that to become emotionally detached, one must then become emotionally attached to something other than support from friends and family. For some, this means attachment to that place within you that demands a “higher reality.” When I say higher reality, I am referring to placing your hopes and feelings outside the ordinary realm of feeling encircled and supported by friends and family. While this is wonderful at times, particularly when one is undergoing medical or other uncomfortable issues, there are other times when you realize you have to cultivate an emotional detachment that is yours to rely upon. I am now referring you to Swami Nityananda’s book Bhagawan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri, a story of a great saint who was born with that great attribute of emotional detachment. However, what he did with his emotional detachment, which was certainly not indifference, was benefit a whole village of people with his philanthropy and became indeed a light and solace of spiritual attainment for so many.

Swami speaks of emotional detachment in his own words

In his comments published as the Chidakash Gita, Swami said, “Every individual should embark upon the path that will uncover the secret that he/she is really God himself.”As you can read through Swami Nityananda’s words, that is what emotional detachment is all about. It is truly embarking upon a spiritual path that leads you to the self you are seeking, one that is connected to your source. When one travels the spiritual path, one begins to see the self that one has always longed for and begins to rely and consult upon the self instead of looking to others for wisdom.

Other people’s quest for emotional detachment

Upon questioning other people’s responses to desires to becoming less emotionally detached, they responded that they simply began to find comfort in other sources such as spiritual books, lending service to others less fortunate to themselves or just generally making an effort to seek “higher” or more detached sources of comfort. This might be as simple as taking a yoga class, reading some inspiring or spiritual books, even taking a few classes in vipassana silence which has been a great help for people who desired to find that place inside themselves where they could cultivate their own reliance on self.

Pain of being emotionally attached inspires emotional detachment

There is a lot of pain involved in being emotionally attached instead of being emotionally detached. While it may sound peculiar to use the word emotion with detached, I have found that our emotions do not leave, but somehow through transference to another source of solace, have the opportunity to become transformed to a more comfortable and helpful place. In fact, sometimes the transformation leads to a passion for a worthwhile cause. That, my dear friend, is the true and wonderful outcome of leaving all those emotionally attached feelings behind. It brings to you a place of respect for yourself, a feeling of oneness within and the possibility of finding true happiness, which is ultimately the present you may receive when you walk away from emotional attachment and become emotionally detached.

Good luck to you. Spiritual Explorer

If you have a question about “Emotional Detachment,” or anything else, you can write me at Ask The Spiritual Explorer

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