By The Spiritual Explorer | Published 13 July, 2016
The Pain of Job Loss
So you’ve lost your job. Wow, can anything be as devastating as that? A friend of mine who had recently experienced job loss, and who had a wicked sense of humor, told me that she when she was feeling the instant assault of pain at being told she was let go, her initial thought was to focus on what was happening in the world and other people’s pain. Well, she shamefacedly told me that while it might have looked like she was having some glee over the misery of others (the perfect definition of the ever popular term“schadenfreude,”) somehow it gave her a needed distance and different perspective to endure the initial onslaught of fear and trembling at job loss.
Unfortunately, her moment did not last long and she was once again feeling overwhelmed and terrified at the thought that that her once a week paycheck was not to continue. And even though she was offered severance and had fortunately saved some money to tide her over for some months, the job loss still felt threatening and overwhelming in many respects.
But then what??? Sometimes, worse than the thought of job loss and that your income is now not forthcoming is that the sense of satisfaction you might have felt from your job will no longer be present. It meant a lot to your feeling of self-respect that you felt empowered and confident you were performing well.
Oh, yes, you did feel it was terribly unfair that you were let go, and didn’t your boss even say you were the best at your job just a few weeks ago. While he did manage to say that it was not his doing, alluding to that the new boss as being the one who demanded the newly hired be the first to let go. Unfortunately, you were in that group. While that gives a momentary pickup to the ego, which is sorely lagging at this point, this is not a long-term solace for job loss.
And finally, all of those disempowering, negative thoughts just below the surface are now barreling down the superhighway of your mind. There they are, those feelings of inadequacy, unfairness, anger, fear, all in a row and you are powerless to stop them.
Job Loss Recovery Suggestions:
- Acknowledge your feelings. Remind yourself that you need to take care of yourself so that you are in the best physical and mental space to endure what has occurred. In fact, this is what they tell all people who have been giving devastating physical diagnoses. The prescription for now is to take care of yourself so that you can endure what you need to do to overcome this unfortunate occurrence. The same nurturing suggestions must apply when you encounter job loss.
- That feeling of satisfaction that you received from doing your job is one of the fatalities in job loss. Think of attempting to restore satisfaction in our life by perhaps doing some volunteer work or mentoring, all with an eye to allowing you to feel useful while pursuing another job. Satisfaction in another area for you is a key nutrient to feeling confident while seeking employment.
- Immediately enlist the support of people with whom you might have had some business relationships. Ask them to perhaps remind you what they consider some of your strong points and talents. Begin to network in areas that are both similar and dissimilar to what you have done.
- Tell yourself that rather than falling into a funk, you will make an effort each morning –set aside a time—to read newspapers and other magazines, looking for the possibilities of other business opportunities, even those that are not similar to your patterns. One time a friend of mine who was fired began to see it as an opportunity to do something she had been trained for some years previous, but had never pursued. And remarkably, after many slow starts, she found herself pursuing and finally succeeding in something she had put away in her memory. Go deep into your subconscious and consider all directions.
- Begin to think of this loss of job as a new opportunity to allow things into your life that you hadn’t before. As an example, instead of that nine to five routine that you had become used to, begin to think about what a job with flexible hours might look like. If you have had to commute to your work before, allow the idea of working from our own home in some profession to enter your mind. Expand your directions.
- Reach out to your family and friends for support. Do not think of this as only your problem, but one that each member of the family might wish to be a part of, thus giving and gaining empowerment to them. Be happy to share your feelings while of course being careful not to share your pessimism or fears unless you have a spouse that can help you shoulder your job loss pains.
Job Loss Last Reminder Tip:
Don’t let your job search expand into every area of your life. Remember you are more than a job hunting and heat seeking missile person. If you can incorporate some time for regular exercise, sleep and relaxation techniques, you will make yourself stronger and fit. And yes, you can still have some fun. You are not consigned to punishment and perpetual self-flagellation for job loss. That will help you to endure the added stress in your life.
The ability to stay calm and focused during a stressful time will be a tool and talent that will hold you in good stead through any other catastrophe or incident that might occur in your life. Remember that we are students of life, and all the tools we gain through trying times are gifts that we can utilize to support others and ourselves throughout our lives.
If you have a question about “job loss,” or anything else, you can write me at Ask The Spiritual Explorer
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